A Whole New World
Cue the Pocahontas song...
Literally. First foray into the working world where there is for the first time, no end in sight. Although frankly speaking I did set a goal in my mind. Otherwise there would be nothing to count down to... And nothing to look forward to.
Oh wells. Nothing much to talk about on First Day. Because really, there isn't much to say. The uniform fitting was fun! Haha
Wearing the £90 (or is it?) ecco shoes from London, just about killed me today. Or my feet rather. Can feel the blister forming. The power did get to my head. Being tall and all. Grandpa Parker was right: with great power comes great responsibility. After walking tall for the entire day, I felt kinda down both literally and metaphorically after I took the heels off. I felt really short.
Anyway, bed is beckoning. Early mornings... Hate them but gotta get used to them.
Meanwhile still have a wardrobe to plan for the rest of the week.
I promise.... I'll get down to penning my travel diaries this weekend. Or as soon as I can. I know I've been procrastinating and putting it off... Together with my guitar. Which I'm kinda proud to have reached lesson 5 last weekend! And halfway through it, because I took a long break and kinda forgot about my paused lesson. Lol
Hope everything works out great!
Yesterday's history
It's been so long since I last really sat down to blog. Not that I ever did it standing by... But you know what I mean.
Yesterday was the end of my 2 month casual employment contract at XXX. Dec was quite the snafu because I knew they needed people and I responded to that. There were not one but a few hiccups along the way. And despite all that, I was quite desperate to get out of the house and do something productive, earn some money that sort of thing. I wouldn't say I regret taking the job up, because I did picked up some things and there were some good people, and amongst the basket of apples, there are bound to have some rotten ones but because a job is a job is a job (quote Gertrude Stein) there was also some saikang to deal with.
Honestly speaking after the first day, I felt HR wasn't my thang. But I decided oh wells I should give it more of a try instead of a halfhearted effort. By the end of the first week, it really wasn't my cup of tea. Maybe in another organization things might be different but I'm not up to taking that kind of risks with my future.
Doing this 2 month long gig taught me quite a bit apart from HR. I was pleasantly surprised by myself and my tenacity and persistence although some of it was out of fulfilling obligations. The moment I signed the contract some time during the first week, constantly at the back of my mind was the escape clause. That I only needed to give my employer 24h of notice before the termination of the contract. I'm quite shocked that I managed to stay till the end. There were good days and there were bad days. Towards the end, my heart was feeling light. The thing running through my mind like a broken record was - "almost out of this hellhole". It wasn't
that bad though.
This was my first foray into the working environment after the summer internship last year. And I'm pretty glad for the experience as it taught me a different set of people skills. The kind that can only be cultivated after interaction with real people and
those people, the kind that no amount of theory can teach. The different sides you reveal to different people. The different sides you hide from different people. The different masks you put on for different people. In a way, I felt the loss of part of my innocence.
At the same time I was also disillusioned by the working life. One really needs to manage his or her time well when stepping into the working society. So many things can get overlooked or passed on if one doesn't make the effort. Family for one. And friendships for another. Work is like an infinite load that keeps on coming. There wouldn't be a day whereby it doesn't. I cannot emphasize enough the need and importance to adjust priorities.
This quote by Antonio Gramsci really spoke to me; "The challenge of modernity is to live without illusions and yet without becoming disillusioned." Living without illusions but not being disillusioned. The precise and yet precarious balance.
Right place right time
It's March already!
Time flies when you're
having fun working. Barely have time for anything else.
O Sleep, how I miss you and only get to fully indulge in the weekends. 20 Mar you can't come any sooner. Okay technically you can with just 24h of notice. Still...
Chase waterfalls. Don’t stick to the streams and rivers that you’re used to.
Endgame
Oh God. Desperately hoping it would be sufficient.
Oh man. Just did the three PwC online analytic tests. Wasn't feeling quite at my best but I hate to drag it further. No excuses even though I was shagged from work where I had to OT 1.25h on the friday just before cny. Boo. And even after giving verbal warnings not to have any disturbance, I was still disrupted during two out of the three tests. Sighs.
And the worse part was, all three tests seemed weirdly familiar. Like weird. And I still didn't manage to finish any in time. Gawd.
Lord have mercy.
I want I want I want...
This highly anticipated break from work seems a long time in coming. The only silver lining besides the majorly good colleagues is having the option to serve 24h notice before saying buh-bye. Sighs.
9-5 pish posh!
Gawd. What bs. Reality is much harsher. Try 830-6. With only an hour of lunchbreak.
I think it's a sign that I'm not cut out to be doing what I'm currently doing. HR. But that's nothing new since I kinda figured that out by the midafternoon of the first day.
Okay, so I initially thought HR could be my thing. Thank goodness for this opportunity to let me strike the option off my career options. Exploring was a good idea. Now I've decided to stick with what I know and am good at.
I'm constantly sleep deficient, have overworked eyes, vexing over what to wear and having to survive till Friday with my spare tank of depleting energy (Every friday is tgif, really!). Work is much more exhausting than school which at one point I had this naive thought of how it could possibly be.
Oh wells. Temp job as it is. Suck it up and march on.
Two weeks down... I hate to count down when I have seven more to go. Although not contractually ironclad bound. Ah wells.
Happy days are gone.
Having a terrible time acclimating to 0830-1800.
Work has been unexpected; good in some ways and bad in the others.
It's only day two. Boo.
Why does Time fly when I'm home chilling and yet go crawling so slowly when I'm working? Goodness. Tick tock.
The day of reckoning is nearing.
Ask me no truths, and I'll tell you no lies.
Abyss moment
Instead of falling into it, I'm rising above it. Like a phoenix rising from its ashes. Strange as it sounds.
I was packing my table in another halfhearted attempt to clear space earlier and discovered to my astonishment that I still had my university welcome package from both NTU and NUS in my possession. Was feeling a tad guilty when I realized oopsie I never once gone through the package from NUS. My bad. Really. Anyway that was 4 years ago. And right now, I've already got my degree. Yeah baby.
Was feeling a bit mellow lately; thinking when I could get a job, and the doubts - the maybe's, if's I was making the right decision in putting my life sorta on hold in order to plan for
the Europe trip that may or may not be realized. Europe is a must-go. But the question therein lies is whether is it a must-go-
now? Then again, if not now then when? There are only so many young and carefree days left before everyone becomes a workingzoid.
Got a part time job doing HR, and today, suddenly got bombarded with two full time job interviews. And the coincidence of all coincidences, all three companies reside in the same building. Like wow. Fate must be pulling my leg. Or having a laugh at the very least.
Entertaining the should I or should I not's. Lifechanging decisions. Man. Something's got to give. This is tough.
I need a sign.
Gimme a sign,
Hit me baby one more time.Labels: me
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Indeed baby.
I wanna scream and shout and let it all out.
After feeling like I've been locked out of heaven since the third semester also known as the astronomy downfall sem, I've been working my ass off to pull my grades up. And it paid off!!
Feeling like I'm on cloud nine. But nope, not crashing from the high. Heheheh
Life rocks at this very moment.
The slackest semester turned out to be the best. Guilt, thanks for being a terrific motivator. Consistency really pays. But taking risks have never paid off so well. S/uing bilingualism was definitely the right choice, but wow double A for forensic science and logic and paradoxes. Thank you, Lord.
Personal best of 4.58. Seriously. I don't know what to say. 2As, 1A- and a B+. Haha oh God, I'll remember and cherish this moment forever or in a long time to come. To think I was rather nervous to check results at 0000. It has been for the best, to have made the decision to check once I woke up. It would have been impossible to sleep after getting the best news in a very long time.
Finally a second uppers. Phase 1 complete with extreme, cat-that-ate-the-canary kind of satisfaction.
Thank you, NTU and friends who have in one way or another made lessons more bearable, enjoyable and possible.
On a sidenote, time to update all the resumes and career portals with the sec uppers award. Hahahahahaha
Labels: me
Inertia & ennui
Chicken and egg. Who came first?
The very two words that really describe my strange strange predicament currently. Before the whole exams-are-over-for-good period, I was desperately wishing for the day to come. Now that it's the exams-are-over-for-good period for quite some time (3 weeks and counting), the things that I anticipated seemed to be less...
less. You know...
Grad trip postponed indefinitely unless I get a temp job till Jun which sucks.
The kind of job I'm be looking at; the field/specialization/position/relevance. So many lifechanging decisions to make.
Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the rooftop
Write it on the skyline
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them all I hoped would be
Impossible.Labels: me
