Silence Speaks: March 2009

Definitely Maybe

just caught Definitely Maybe on HBO. nice nice nice.

the main guy eventually ends up happily with the best friend. oh how i love happy endings. sigh

anyway went to sengkang library just now and had quite an aggravating experience. i saw with my own eyes, some auntie snatched the books i wanted right in front of my nose. and i was already on the way of reaching for it. damn damn damn. we're talking abt 2 books here! sheesh. anyway i doubt i'll be gg there alr, the freaking fare from potong pasir costs 1.37$ to sengkang. like wth? the jobless one has nada moolah to spend on transport. tsktsktsk

baby i'm trying, trying to hold

Finally submitted my smu application after dragging and dragging and dragging. You know what i mean. And to think i started last week. Mm or maybe it was the week before that? can't really rmb. Anyway it's finally over and now...

Now the persistent frayed nerves are here to stay.

Oh God oh God.

On the upside; the only upside in fact, i finally pinned down the phone that i want and within actual reach. C902 a bit lag but then at least it's an improvement cos it has 5M.

behold;

i hate this part right here

Okay.

In a nutshell, i played pool a while on sat after Aston's although i kept losing.
Bowled some days ago though i couldn't even hit 100. And sinned terribly after, but not bad enough to lose sleep over.
Went back to sch for netball like 2 weeks ago though we couldn't play a real game with 4 quarts because of our ageing and declining health.
Done with A's since 18th Nov and haven't been using much of my brain every since.
Haven't got a job, although i did have offers.

And now, finally, now I'm taking stock of my effortlessly unfruitful life thus far.

I think, i am on the edge of insanity.

This may be surprising, but in truth, I dun like the way I've wasted my time, day after day, night after night etc. And yet, apparently not enough that i actually do smth abt it. Come to think of it, all i have been doing is to come up with excuses to push this and that away, finding reasons to not do this and that. It's not even like I'm waiting for something to happen, I've lost that naivety years ago. And the thing is, I'm aware of all of that. Doing nothing is not as carefree as it sounds.

Okay.
The end.

O.A.R. Shattered (Turn the car around)

In a way, I need a change
From this burnout scene
Another time, another town
Another everything
But it's always back to you

Stumble out, in the night
From the pouring rain
Made the block, sat and thought
There's more I need
It's always back to you

But I'm good without ya
Yeah, I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered
I always turn the car around

I had no idea that the night
Would take so damn long
Took it out, on the street
While the rain still falls
Push me back to you

But I'm good without ya
Yeah, I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered
I always turn the car around

Give it up, give it up, baby
Give it up, give it up, now
Now

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
All that I feel is the realness I'm faking
Taking my time but it's time that I'm wasting
Always turn the car around

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around

Don't wanna turn that car around
I gotta turn this thing around

gonna meet M and T later for Astons.
like soon actually.
toodles.

free lunches?/juz mizunderstood

oh boy oh boy. i think i need to go into a confession box for what i did today, if i were catholic. oh boy. guilt is nigging at me. oh boy. the only thing i find hopeful is, knowing i'm not alone and that we are all in the same conspiracy. lol

also, i'm guilty of judging a book by its cover and being a patron of the lasting impact of first impression. i am but human afterall. and besides knowing what's right and doing what's right is two entire things, two whole worlds apart if i may add. so the question remains, shld we if given the opportunity, give the subject another look past and beyond its past facade or shld the first impression be the sentencing blow. the thing abt first impression is, it's impromptu, and that in itself doesn't give much space for the said subject to put on a front, or any front for that matter. and what if it's just another facade constructed around or built on top of the previous? am i brave enough to take a chance? on them?

oh man. the blogging on a daily basis is back again. boohoo. i need to change my blogskin. who's going to be the kind soul this time? hahhaha

watchmen

went to catch Watchmen (m18) with M and N on friday after going incognito clad in ny uniform to NUS for a statistics and applied probability talk organised by the math department. blending was the key and apparently we did it so well no one recognised us except ms seah when we came back to sch and hopped on the ride. lol.

the talk by Prof Cook was rather interesting and he showed us several "sure-win" methods. anyway one of the eg he shown us was a real game show hosted back in the 80s called "Let's Make A Deal". the contestant would be given 3 doors to choose from and only 1 of which would lead to the prize money and the other two something else. the objective was of course to get the prize money. after the contestant was asked to choose one, the host then reveals another door which leads to something else. after which the host would offer another option to the contestant; to switch doors or to remain faithful and untempted. of the two out of three times of class participation, it proved to be fruitful to remain faithful despite temptations. the math behind it is fairly interesting to say the least; initially, each door holds a 33.3% of probability of being the right door, including the three - the right and the wrong doors. by logic: chances of picking the right door is 1/3, while the wrong one being 2/3. after a door is revealed, with two doors remaining, the prob of the right door increased to 50% while the prob of the wrong one falls to 50% (from 66.6%). hence naturally speaking based on probability, it becomes the most reasonable to stick with your own choice. fascinating huh. anyway, go watch the movie "21". it's a really good show revolving applications of math in real life, though i'm not sure if it really works. lol

Watchmen was kinda weird and unexpected. Set back in the 60s, the characters banded together for justice initially. Strength in numbers - i get it, but it wasn't like the superhero worked together with one and another, but rather with themselves. And the scenes were pretty gruesomely violent. Then some where along the way, some turned crazy, and only a few remaining. Unlike the typical superhero film, the supervillian (Ozymandias) in the show turned out to be one of the superheroes with a warped sense of saving mankind. He even went to the extent of sacrificing one of his teammate's innocence (Dr Manhattan), and the lives of millions to which according to him would in turn save billions. And then one of the female character (Silk Spectre II) hopped from one male superhero (Dr Manhattan) to another (Nite Owl). Lol that's like pretty bad behavior for a superhero isn't it? But the most interesting thing was, this female character wasn't the original one, her mom was. She actually inherited the position from her mom. Lol. And she was the fruit of labour of her mom and another fellow superhero (The Comedian - who was killed from the start because he figured out Ozymandias's grand plan). Then of course there were some sad characters like Rorschach who ended up dead because he wanted to reveal the truth and Dr Manhattan who banished himself off to Mars. The plot was quite well written in a way that keeps you guessing who was the mastermind.

okay this is it for now. my bed is beckoning me. toodles.

interestingly mostly true

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

XPERIA1

omg. is this phone cool or cool? like superbly so right. right.
okay maybe that was the gossip girl fan talking.
hello? who am i kidding. zzz
a pity it's only 3.2M. damn wasted.

this may never start

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Being Alone While you may act like you don't care on the outside, on the inside your biggest fear is being alone. You can be quite shy and reserved. You feel like a lot of times people don't really see the real you. You're afraid that no one will really truly love you, and that you will be alone for the rest of your life. On the inside you are great person, so just remember that and don't let your shy nature get the best of you! If you don't want to be a lone then you need to make an effort to be with someone. Show the people that you care about that you really love them, and chances are someone will always be there, even if you think they won't.
Death
Losing Someone
Where Your life is Going
Looked down on
Commitment
Disappointment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

wait a minute, i dun like disappointment too! sheesh just when i was starting to think like everyone else who felt that the test was damn true.

A level results

last friday was well, least to say a bit anti-climatic and a tad disappointing. but aren't we all? oh wells.

the next few days are bound to be perplexed, worrying over what courses to pursue, which uni to go to, brooding over the what-ifs, the had-beens, the should-haves. sighs

my virgin FLYER experience

not much to be said actually. quite boring. the views from high up and above was something to be reckoned with. the ride took 30min. not that i actually went to time, but because i managed to catch that piece of info among the rather soft speakers. i was somehow reassured when i saw the emergency package under the seat. hahhaa yaa i'm that afraid of dying. and heights too. i didn't dare to go near the edges although i knew it was safe. the thing about phobias is the fear resides deep within, like a inner monster or demon.

anyway, some pics to share. can't do the photoscape thing cos my sis reformatted her lappy. zzz