Silence Speaks

yesterday - leona lewis

i know what i said abt not coming here so often, and abt not using songs as titles. i am v fickle-minded and contradicting i know but srsly i can't help it.

first thing first, blogger almost scared my wits out of me. it said smth like the internet cookie being disabled and i was like crap; end of my blogging days, null existence of my alter ego, true it has been short-lived, but it was rather a fruitful one i supposed. thankfully i was able to mitigate the problem by just re-opening the internet browser.

anyway anyway, back to the title issue. i wanted to blog yesterday but i was well occupied with things like reading my latest grab and napping while i was supposed to study for the maths mock paper today. i was busy mopping over GP paper too. did i mention how much GP suck? well, it SUCKED. LIKE TOTALLY. gosh. meiping and I are going to compare our sucky gps some time and see which jc tops the suckier gp prelim. anyway, went to Cafe Cartel with mom for late breakfast. bumped into mun jun zaki and tricia after alighting from the bus. from their blank faces i sensed no glimpse of acknowledgement in their eyes. like totally null, nada, zilch, zero kind. and a part of me and my ego was bruised. how cld that be? firstly i know i haven change much physically from sec sch. so what was the problem? didn't i make an impact? hello, i topped the class for prelims, by a stroke of chance that much i'll agree but hello. i topped amaths tests for like almost every time. i never thought myself as someone that easily forgettable nor having that common face among the crowd. (even though there's someone in school who sorts of look like me. ): ) i didn't bother saying hi. i hate it when people dun reciprocate my kindness. and another thing i hate is looking like a fool. i get pretty often these days i wonder why. hence i hesitate to initiate acknowledgement the other party on the streets. stupid trio!!! goodness. i know i haven been to much class gatherings. (not that there were many anyway!) i wasn't even close to them even then but TSK. 2years of being in the same class and after that, back to strangers that past you by without a second glance? ouch okay! imagine being a mere footnote of someone's memory. that's like a freaking minor. i want to be more. perhaps i was over-reacting bcos i think i heard mun jun calling my name when i was going up the bridge. i wasn't sure, but i didn't turn around. i'm an evil scorpio, i dun do magnanimous stuffs like forgive and forget, at least not the instantanously kind. i tend to bear grudges. anyway, that's that.

i'm heading back to my books. toodles.

posted by wantington-ny @ 10:04 PM