Tuesday, December 18, 2012

First job dilemma & performance anxieties


Oh Lord. How did we go from studying to working? It’s like you’re just beginning in training wheels and suddenly you’re flying without them. So astonishingly abrupt. For lack of better word.

All those people who said university were supposed to train us for the working world… Like whattt??!  Seriously I can’t be the only one feeling so … unprepared to be thrust upon the working world. Okay so I might be the only one picturing being fed to hungry wolves but as my title suggested dilemma and anxieties are part and parcel of my rant today.

I used to be that little girl that dreamt of being a doctor, a lawyer and all those posh professions as portrayed by actors in Mediacorp shows – definitely not a coincidence that all those characters have a high income and that they managed to live quite luxuriously. Then I went to school. Going to school changes one’s perception of who you can be. Like wanting to be something and actually being that something are like two wholly different entities like day and night. Prolly linked to the high emphasis on achievement and excellence in the school curriculum.

Jobs for fresh graduates are not exactly plentiful in Singapore which kinda restricts the whole pursue-your-dreams thing. Beggars can’t be choosers seem pretty appropriate. Given the high cost of investment and years of study, a steady rate of return is wiser compared to a stale and stagnant growth till who knows when.
 
Deciding which job to go for is the next dilemma. Actually given the whole university curriculum, I pretty much got to explore my interests fortunately and unfortunately. The former because it was way easier to study for something that one enjoys and the amount of UEs in my degree allowed that to happen. The latter because I have a wide range of interests which kinda made it difficult to actually determine which one would likely be the right kind of career choice. University math wasn’t what I expected. Okay actually that in itself wasn’t much. Pretty much most things that I expected don’t exactly go my way. Learning a new math module every semester except for Calculus which took four modules and a single very investment-worthy textbook, I realized what we learnt aren’t exactly useful. With 12 lectures for single module accompanied by tutorials, it’s kinda hard to actually apply in real-life. Anyway my point was that university doesn’t exactly prepare you for the working world.

So having said aplenty, the dilemma actually only became a probing headache level after the temp job interview I had with AGO this morning. It went well I think. But after a long day of pondering and talking with friends and family, I’m like having second thoughts apart getting a pt job.  The HR manager only mentioned that one of her officers were leaving the service and asked if I were interested in it. I told her frankly I don’t exactly know what the HR position is about and whether it’s what I see myself doing.
But see, the thing is how does one actually know from the get-go that hey this is the job that I want and this is the same job that I’m gonna excel in. No way that’s gonna happen. Given the lack of experience, I suppose the only option is to try and give it your all. I doubt the job responsibilities would be at all familiar no matter what kind of jobs one goes for, whether it’s major-related or not.

At this point I’m gonna admit point-blank that a few things would be pluses in my book. The opportunity to travel, competitive salary and benefits, good environment and I’ll be as happy as a lark.

And the companies that I’ve applied to are all quite established names, and upon honest reflection, they might have plenty to offer but not sure if it’s vice versa. Know what I mean? So while I remain cautiously hopeful (there has to be a limit afterall), maybe it’s time to cut the baits and stop fishing and give other jobs a chance.  

We’ll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don’t need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me?
And just forget the world

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