Silence Speaks

Works Of An Overstressed Mind And Overactive Imagination

I NEED A BREAKK!

Like pronto. Like seriously.

EVEN MY BRAIN IS TELLING ME TO STOP.

Among other things like forgetfulness, the urge to procrastinate more than usual, the postponing of stuffs, the general laziness and the lack of sleep.

I JUST HAD A FREAKING NIGHTMARE IN MY AFTERNOON NAP! Never mind that it was an afternoon nap. Never mind that I slept at 2 plus last night. The fact that, I rarely have dreams, makes this a freaking MIRACLE! In a bad kind of way obviously.

Bloody hell. And it involved so many things, and so many people. And even my treasured goose feathers pillow!

Time was today.

Friday 29/01/10.

I found myself magically at home after taking a nap (which i was taking). That's was dreams are about, right? Finding yourself somewhere with no logical explanations about it. Anyway, I was sorta transported back home while sleeping. Yes, that's it. How else would you say that first you were lying on your bed in hall, the next you woke up in your bed at home.

Initial reaction was YAY! Finally home. Have been looking forward to coming back since forever this week. Then when i looked around and realised, its about 430. Marketing tutorial class was to start at 430. Somehow I wasn't panicking about being late for class, but my panic mode was basically about missing my presentation! Already we were shorthanded, original team strength was 6, but at the moment - 3, and Suteng didn't do a lot of work. Which left Samuel and me. We had our disagreements but we did the slides afterall, despite a lot of inner grumblings on my part, and his outward shaking of his head in disapproval.

430. I asked Mom to drive me there. Then it occurred to me, a traffic jam at the expressway was prolly anticipating another victim on the highways. I was fretting like hell. Determined to at least make a miraculous effort to be there. Even though a part of me was like mmm it's kinda good that its over, and that not that I didn't want to. Anyway, I did sent Sam a sms apologising.

Again. I was transported back to hall. But this time, the presentation was over. The OMC BBQ was looming. It was about 6plus. Amazingly, Yanting (present clique) was with me. We were somewhere outside NTU, but the scene was amazingly the splitting image of Little India. And I was grabbing my pillow not sure why. When we turned a corner, we realised we were at the BBQ site. I saw Sherline and we started chitchatting, with me hugging my pillow. A while later, me and yanting left the group to go back to my roomto deposit my pillow. On the way back, I saw a group dancing to New Classic (by Drew Seeley and Selena Gomez in the disney movie Another Cinderella Story) and stopped to watch for awhile. Amazingly, Yanting started dancing to it. Shock of my life.

So anyway, after that, we went back to our original place, before turning and finding the BBQ site. I supposed we took a wrong turn, for we ended up in Little India. We were quite lost, and it was getting darker, so we started to panic a little. Later we met up with 2 Chinese who were on their way back to NTU as well, namely Wenting and her friend, so we followed them. Wenting was my secondary school friend. What a coincidence I thought. Haven been talking to her since secondary school. So we started catching up.

Then I started boasting about my pillow. What's with it being goose feathered and all. Several times, Wenting wanted to touch for herself, but I was in a playful mood, and kept avoiding her hands. After a while, I pass the entire pillow to her. What she did next was UNBELIEVABLE.

She threw my pillow on the ground, stomped a few times and kicked it to a distance. I was in a state of shock, after my pillow fell to the ground helplessly and I watched it fly. Immediately I went over to pick the poorly treated now damn black pillow with dirty footprints, and looked at the guilty person pointedly, asking what all that was about. She started looking contrite.

Which was a show obviously. Because she then took my pillow from me again, and kicked it to the roads. This time I was fsater to react, but not fast enough. A car went through it at rather high speed, it sliced my pillow into half, and poof, my pillow was nothing but a flurry set of feathers.

I started crying and crying and arguing with her. What the fuck was wrong with you? I wasn't holding anything back. I started pushing her to the roads, with the intention was driving her to the same state she drove my pillow I think. Then some person appeared and restrained me with Yanting's help. Can't remember who this person was, but she was on my side. He/she comforted me. After a while I stopped crying. And started fighting, with words. Fuck kept coming out which wasn't a surprise. I tend to swear alot when I'm angry. Just ask my brother.

Wenting wanted to cut me at somepoint of my one-sided argument which of course I was winning, but I didn't relent. Finally, I had to stop to breathe. She said she hadn't do it on purpose initially, but was too caught up in Envy (one of the seven sins) when I kept talking about the goodness of my pillow. And so the tirade began again. Which part was not on purpose? The throwing it to the ground part, the kicking part, or the stomping part? After a while I started repeating myself, which the third party stopped me. I had obviously made my point. We made our way back to NTU in silence.

We turned into a doorway and it was entrance to Hall 4. Random. Wenting led the way in, I was like you live in Hall 4 as well? She nodded her head. This time she looked really contrite, but I still wanted to bash her up or do something equally drastic to seek revenge for my abused pillow. I think Yanting knew what I was up to, and she followed behind me to the doorway. Wenting went back to her room without harm and I ended up in mind. Thanked Yanting profusely, didn't want to think, refusing to think, what would happen if she wasn't there the way she was. Then she left.

I sat alone on my bed. Looking at my empty bed, without my pillow, I started crying again. I remember calling Mom to tell her about it, and she promised to help me get Wenting back. After a while, I decided to freshen up and make my way down for the BBQ. Just when I was about to leave, Meiping (my roomie) came back and I started rehashing the sorrowful tale again. This time I cried, then thankfully I woke up.

After analysing the dream after i awoke, there were too many coincidences.
1. Wenting was in poly. Meaning she'll graduate in Mar/Apr.
2. At some point in time, I tried slapping myself and pinching, and surprisingly it didn't hurt. So part of me was aware that I was trapped in a dream. It makes me smile knowing I was so damn pragamatic even in my dreams. Lol
3. The nightmare broke when I was crying, back in the room, sans my goose feathered pillow.
4. The nightmare was like a freaking puzzle that fitted together all that's on my mind at the moment. The presentation, the bbq, missing my family, the accumulating stress, the uh slight distaste of foreigners. Basically nothing really good. A few funny points but that was it.

Interesting thing to say the least, huh. Like the inner demons you're facing suddenly grouping together to haunt you when you are most vulnerable.

And I basically spent 45 min updating my nightmare since I woke up. Time to grab some food. Ciaos

posted by wantington-ny @ 12:16 PM